Placing a baby for adoption is not an easy decision to make. There are countless reasons why any parent would consider this the best choice, but there are also doubts. Even if you think there is no other choice, this is not a decision to be taken lightly. Making a loving plan for your child is a brave & selfless choice that can have many benefits to you and your child. We also realize it is not the right choice for everyone. If you are considering placing your baby with an adoptive family, for whatever reason, you might have doubts, so here are some questions you can ask yourself:
- Do I feel ready to parent?
- Can I provide for my child’s needs?
- Who will watch my child for me when I need?
- What are my plans for the future?
- What if…?
In order to make this courageous choice, you have to consider many different aspects of your personal life. Answering these simple questions can help you better understand your feelings, and hopefully guide you into making a decision you feel more confident about.
Do I feel ready to parent?
Finding out you’re pregnant can come as a shock. Planned or unplanned, every pregnancy can raise doubts. It is completely normal to feel nervous and insecure about your future and your baby’s. Parenting requires you to find a healthy balance between your needs and your child’s needs. Because it is so important to take everyone’s best interest into consideration, you should never feel pressured about making decisions. Be thoughtful and informed as you assess your overall situation and what is best for you and your child.
Can I provide for my child’s needs?
Parents considering adoption plans are seeking a way to ensure the best life for their child, and themselves. Besides your personal health and needs, you should also take into consideration whether or not you can provide your child the life you want them to have. Are you financially, emotionally, and socially able to provide for this child? Situations and feelings change at any time. You may feel confident about your current plan, but change your mind as the pregnancy progresses due to shifts in your life. This is completely normal; it’s important to remember that you do have time to make decisions.
Who will watch my child for me when I need?
Nobody has all of the answers to being a parent. You can find videos, talk to people, get counseling, but at the end of the day caring for a child is a journey (one that you might not feel ready to take). A strong support system is often important to being a successful parent. Having family or friends that you can rely on, as well as being able to afford the essentials for baby and childcare services is something you might want to consider. Are you parenting other children? What impact might parenting another child have on them? If you don’t think it is possible for you to provide your child (or children) with life you want them to have, then putting your child up for adoption or considering an adoption plan might just be the best choice.
What are my plans for the future?
This is an important question. Usually, it is also one of the reasons why unplanned pregnancy can be so confusing and scary. Do you have a stable job or plan on getting one? Do you want to continue your studies? Or maybe there are still things you want to do. Your future plans are extremely important so it is up to you to decide. A baby comes with great responsibility that not everyone is ready to take. And choosing a different plan for your child doesn’t mean you love them any less. Your job as a parent is to ensure your child is provided for. For some parents, that means choosing adoption.
What if you change your mind? What if you decide to parent your child? What if you decide to put your baby up for adoption after you have delivered? What if you are still underage and don’t know what to do? As scary as an unplanned pregnancy and thoughts of adoption are, you have options. Counseling, guidance, and support are available for you if you need it. Even if you are not making an adoption plan, you can still speak with other mothers and hear their experiences.
Unplanned Pregnancy, Parenting, And Adoption Plans Can Be Confusing But You are Not Alone
In the end, this is not an easy choice to make, but it is also a journey you don’t have to take alone. You can keep reading our resources to find out relevant information about putting your baby up for adoption, and you can contact CFK at any time to discuss what making an adoption plan can look like for you. Our services are free, confidential, and without any obligation.