There are so many reasons why someone would decide to place a child for adoption that it’s hard to imagine how it really feels like. From unplanned pregnancy disrupting plans for the future, to complete lack of support from friends and family – Every birthparent has different reasons, a different journey, and experiences different feelings. To the point that it’s really not possible to point out a single experience.
Before getting into details on how adoption can feel, you should also know that you can find support and counseling. Difficult as it is, this is not something you have to go through alone. Besides, adoption plans are so flexible that you can even agree upon keeping in touch with the adoptive family and your baby after adoption.
Is It Emotionally Difficult?
Yes, it is. At least most of the time. In terms of the adoption process, adoption through an agency is not very complicated. But, in terms of what you will feel, it can be a completely different story. Some birthparents choose a plan, stick to it, and move on with their lives, or so it seems.
In reality, there are a lot of different factors coming into play. It’s very common that parents experience feelings of anger, sadness, guilt, and fear at the beginning. Sometimes, it can feel like you are giving up, which is not true at all.
So, to really understand what it’s like, it’s impossible not to speak about the reasons why someone would choose adoption.
Do You Want To or Do You Need To?
This is a big one and really important to understand how it can feel. If you experience an overall lack of support from friends and families like many birthparents do. You might feel pressured to place your baby in adoption. However, many of the parents that have experienced this, have also realized that adoption was the most loving option for their kids.
They didn’t necessarily want to place them for adoption, but they just couldn’t find a solution to provide their babies with the life they deserved. Many people who have gone through this know they had made the right choice and that the adoptive family can provide their babies a better life than the one they could.
As described by some, adoption is “the most beautiful pain”
Also, read When Is An Adoption Plan The Right Choice?
Do People Ever Think Of Changing Their Minds?
Absolutely. In fact, the fear of placing a baby up for adoption and then changing their minds is among the most common experienced by birthparents. You have to keep in mind that you have plenty of time to make the decision.
You can choose the family, choose when you want adoption to take place, even change your mind at any time (as long as nothing permanent has been signed). Read Can You Change Your Mind About Putting Your Baby For Adoption?
Meeting The Adoptive Families
When choosing adoption through an agency, you get to see the profiles of many adoptive families that can fit your requirements. If you decide to do so, you can meet with them in person and get to know them.
It can be scary, but meeting with prospective families can really be a beautiful experience. Many times, birthparents meet a family that just clicks with them, and as they often describe it “Sometimes, you just know instantly that they are the perfect family to raise your baby.”
When that happens, all the fears seem to disappear. And instead of fear, a loving sensation of making the right choice starts to take place. In the end, you know what’s best for your baby.
Also, read Can You Choose Your Baby’s Adoptive Family?
Do You Have More Questions About Adoption?
You can keep reading our resources to find out relevant information about putting your baby up for adoption, or you can contact CFK at any time. We provide Free and Confidential birthmothers support.